I'm so proud of my foster daughter and the young woman that I am discovering her to be and I am so mad at everyone that has cast her out up until this point. I see a girl that is funny and sarcastic, that is fascinated with science, asks the most interesting (and sometimes off the wall) questions. I have to pry her off the computer where she is content to sit and look up worship songs on you tube all day.
But seriously, how could so many be so blind to her beauty and amazing potential? While driving to an appointment, I told her that we care about her immensely and that making a mistake cannot and will not jeopardize that or her ability to stay with us. She fell quiet. I fumbled around in my mind, unsure of what to say or do. I tried to lightheartedly say, "You can't get rid of us that easily." I tried to catch her eye and reassure her with a smile. "Okay?" Turning her head quickly to hide the tears welling in her eyes, she softly said, "okay." With my own tears beginning to form, I too, turned my head attempting to concentrate on the road. She doesn't understand, and didn't need to see it yet, but my heart truly aches for her. Silently I prayed, God help this to work, this amazing kid, your kid, help her to find love and stability in our home, to learn what it is to be loved and to show love, to know you. And when it gets rough guide my words and actions to be a reflection of you. Let this be her last home.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Dare to Dream
Where do dreams come from? I'm not exactly talking about the nonsensical stories that play out in your night time slumber, I'm more referring to heart dreams that can send one barrelling in one direction toward a specific goal, another country, an occupation, your own family and white picket fence, simply a better world.
My dream is one of those better world dreams. Somewhere in my childhood a deep brokenness was imprinted upon my heart, now I never stop aching for the broken, the abandoned, the abused. My heart hurts for their sense of loneliness and feelings of being lost. And I dream. I dream that some how with one heart at a time we can change this vicious cycle that claims one generation after another. I dream that we can make a difference. I believe my heart dream came from God, who, as much as I ache, He aches so much more.
I remember the tiny seed from long ago, an intrinsic desire to inspire the unispired, to help kids see that their destiny is before them and encourage them to pursue it with all that they are. Little did I know when I began to walk that path that it would lead me here, where I burn for foster kids, a population that not only doesn't know their destiny, they don't even know their day to day, and their future is painted with grave statistics that attempt to define them.
I think of the amazing people and experiences in my life that have helped that seed to grow; they watered, nurtured, and served as a lattice on which it can climb. My one night experience in foster care when I was young; my youth pastor, his amazing family, and all the wonderful people that I met at that church; my amazing friend in college who has been through more in her childhood than anyone should ever go through in a lifetime. Now everywhere I turn, I meet people with amazing stories that want to be foster parents, want to adopt out of the system, are using the sadness of infertility for good and seeking a child that needs a home. I that want to be social workers, that want to be a part of Royal Family Kids' Camps where the lives and destinies of foster kids are changed every year. Though at times I felt like a pinball being bounced from one thing to the next, now my tiny seed has grown into a giant beanstalk upon which I can climb and see the mass of kids (latest stats say the number is 423, 684) out there longing to seek a destiny true to their inward passions, and the mass of people longing to assist but just don't know how. And I scream in utter elation, Thank you Jesus, today's reality for these kids does not have to be tomorrow's!
Now, tag it on my forehead, MUST ... TALK ... ABOUT .... FOSTER CARE!! I am not ashamed to say I am sold out for these kids, America's orphans, and we are creating an army who plan to make a difference.
Walk, share and dream with me, as I navigate through the complexities of the child welfare system, muse about the beautiful moments and every day challenges of being a foster parent, and dream of my children who I have yet to hold.
My dream is one of those better world dreams. Somewhere in my childhood a deep brokenness was imprinted upon my heart, now I never stop aching for the broken, the abandoned, the abused. My heart hurts for their sense of loneliness and feelings of being lost. And I dream. I dream that some how with one heart at a time we can change this vicious cycle that claims one generation after another. I dream that we can make a difference. I believe my heart dream came from God, who, as much as I ache, He aches so much more.
I remember the tiny seed from long ago, an intrinsic desire to inspire the unispired, to help kids see that their destiny is before them and encourage them to pursue it with all that they are. Little did I know when I began to walk that path that it would lead me here, where I burn for foster kids, a population that not only doesn't know their destiny, they don't even know their day to day, and their future is painted with grave statistics that attempt to define them.
I think of the amazing people and experiences in my life that have helped that seed to grow; they watered, nurtured, and served as a lattice on which it can climb. My one night experience in foster care when I was young; my youth pastor, his amazing family, and all the wonderful people that I met at that church; my amazing friend in college who has been through more in her childhood than anyone should ever go through in a lifetime. Now everywhere I turn, I meet people with amazing stories that want to be foster parents, want to adopt out of the system, are using the sadness of infertility for good and seeking a child that needs a home. I that want to be social workers, that want to be a part of Royal Family Kids' Camps where the lives and destinies of foster kids are changed every year. Though at times I felt like a pinball being bounced from one thing to the next, now my tiny seed has grown into a giant beanstalk upon which I can climb and see the mass of kids (latest stats say the number is 423, 684) out there longing to seek a destiny true to their inward passions, and the mass of people longing to assist but just don't know how. And I scream in utter elation, Thank you Jesus, today's reality for these kids does not have to be tomorrow's!
Now, tag it on my forehead, MUST ... TALK ... ABOUT .... FOSTER CARE!! I am not ashamed to say I am sold out for these kids, America's orphans, and we are creating an army who plan to make a difference.
Walk, share and dream with me, as I navigate through the complexities of the child welfare system, muse about the beautiful moments and every day challenges of being a foster parent, and dream of my children who I have yet to hold.
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