Thursday, October 4, 2012

{31 Days} Myths About the Children

Myth: There are no real orphans in the United States.
Fact: There are 104,000 children in the U.S. foster care who are legally free and currently waiting for an adoptive home. ( Meet the children here or here.

Myth: I wouldn’t have any control over or choice of the types or ages of children who get placed in my home, whether they are perfectly healthy or have a disability.
Fact: You always have the final say over which children are placed in your home. However, the broader your parameters are, the more quickly you will receive a placement. When you are certified, you specify a certain age range and level of physical and emotional need that you feel your family can handle, and when that call comes the social worker will do their best to describe what they know about the child and their situation and you are always given the option to say “no.”

Myth: The children in foster care are juvenile delinquents.
Fact: Children enter the foster care system through no fault of their own as a result of abuse, neglect or abandonment, and deserve every effort to find them a permanent loving family who can help them grow into responsible and productive adults.

Myth: All foster children are emotionally disturbed and damaged beyond repair. There’s nothing I can do to help them.
Fact: Children are amazingly resilient. Foster parents can make the difference by providing a structured, nurturing environment. We need to remember that these children will grow up to be adults in our society. How we respond to their needs now will largely determine what kind of citizens they will be in the future.
Myth: All children in foster care have special needs and require special education.
Fact: Many children in foster care are regular children who unfortunately had to be removed from their families due to abuse or neglect. In foster/adoption, the term “special needs” simply refers to children who qualify for adoption assistance due to specific factors or conditions such as:
* Being an older child
* Having a particular racial or ethnic background
* Being part of a sibling group needing to be placed together as one unit
* Medical conditions
* Physical, mental, or emotional challenges

A child with special needs should not be confused with a child who requires special education.  Following broad federal guidelines, each State defines its own parameters for which factors or conditions would qualify a child as having special needs. (

Myth: The kids in foster care mostly older and we really only want younger children.

Fact: There are kids of all ages in foster care. Some are taken straight from the hospital, others are nearing adulthood, fearing a future out of "the system" and completely alone. It is up to you to choose what age child will work best with your family.
Myth: My biological kids will be negatively affected if I do foster care.
Fact: Kids who come into foster care have experienced trauma, and yes, sometimes that trauma manifests itself in some disagreeable ways. However, many families have found the foster care process to be very rewarding, as their children are given an opportunity to comfort and support another child “whose mommy can’t take care of them right now.”
One foster mom, beaming about how her children, ages 6, 5, and 3 have adapted to being a foster family, said when a new child comes in, her kids immediately come to their side, to comfort them, to ask them if they’d like to share their toys, etc.

Another mom wrote, “foster care affects who are children become. My children have had to pen up their hearts and their lives to strangers…My children have learned at a young age about the inequity of life; that things aren’t fair and that children sometimes suffer at the hands of their own parents.” (The Middle Mom Blog)

It is giving your children the opportunity to learn the truest compassion when you bring these hurting children into your hearts and home.


  1. Thank you! We are a concurrent home with one placement currently. Once your in it is so neat to see how the LORD grows your heart in ways you could have never predicted.

    1. Mamma Stone,

      Congrats on your Foster Journey! It is SO true how you will be forever changed through this ministry. Thank you for opening your home and heart to these precious children. :D ~Tristen

  2. Do you know of any books that would be great for our biological children as we start entering into the adoption process? We will be adopting in the US, a foster child.

    1. Hello Katie! Welcome to my blog! :) Congratulations on your decision to adopt through foster care. :D How old are your biological children? I have come across some cute children's books on Amazon, but they all seem to focus on international adoption which is such a different process than fost-adopt. One site that I absolutely love as an Adoption resource is Adoptive Families, they have some books for varying ages, though I haven't read any myself,
      I'm putting together some resources that I will include later in this series, hopefully they will help. :) ~Tristen